Rachel Clifton · Unedited · 28 September 2026

On not pushing for or forcing anything anymore

People who know me well know that I do not like open loops.

I’m kind of militant.

If something comes up, I handle it.

I don’t like leaving things hanging.

I like to do and say what I think needs to be said and done.

And.

And. And. And. And. And.

Sometimes, something different is required of me.

If something doesn’t get done today, it can be done tomorrow.

I don’t have to act with urgency to assuage my anxiety.

I can rest.
I can be.
I am safe.
I am okay.

Something I’ve got really into recently is asking my boyfriend whether he loves me.

It sounds absurd in some ways.

“Do you love me?”
“Am I safe?”

But there’s a vulnerability in it that I think we both find charming.

And a safety that, ironically, is implicitly built-in.

I want to live my life from a place of safety and spaciousness.

And, I want to live my life from a place of love.

One day a time. This journal entry helps.

If you’re reading this, I love you too.